My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
