It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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