Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
