i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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