"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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