what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
two words: eviction party
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
