Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
