if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
