dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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