He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
