Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
