he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
