walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
