i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize