areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
