Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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