It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
