Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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