Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
