i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love having hate sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize