I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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