I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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