I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize