There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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