just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The power of my boobs compel you
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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