I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
