I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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