Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
