For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
