i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
