the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
