In the future we'll all be gay
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
