I am puke
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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