You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
