do herpes really smell.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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