White coat. Heels.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
