I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
