Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
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I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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