I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
