I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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