Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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