I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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