is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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