Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
