Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
