Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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