am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
