When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
where are my eyebrows?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
