dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need a burrito and a hug.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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