I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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