This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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