woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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