I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
