Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
