Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
