I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize