Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bring me that man meat
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize