I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
