cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
