So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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