I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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