Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
