And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
