Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
