We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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